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"Now I like (A), but I also like (B). But which is better? There's only one way to find out, FIGHT!!!"
―Harry

The Fights are pre-advertisement battles that attempt to determine which of two people or things from a scene are "best", such as "babies or cats" (from an episode of The Apprentice), "chicken or turkey", "White Rat or Brown Rat" (from a nature documentary), "Mars or meat" (from Life on Mars) or even "Jesus or Hitler". After making the comparison, Hill's signature tagline follows: "But which is better? (A) or (B)? There's only one way to find out... FIGHT!", at which point two actors representing the characters of the comparison appear from either side and engage in a wrestling match while Hill goads them on (usually favouring one specific party). After the commercial break, the show continues as normal, making no reference to the fight or who won it.

List of FightsEdit

  • In the pilot episode, Harry mentioned that the Harry Potter movie was coming up and noted that in his day when you needed someone to solve supernatural conundrums, you had Doctor Who. A fight commenced between the Doctor based on his Tom Baker persona and Harry Potter, the Fourth Doctor theme played during the fight.
  • In the Christmas episode of series 1, Jesus and Santa Claus fought; the latter was knocked out with one punch.
  • Santa returned as part of the fight in the Christmas episode of series 2, this time against Saddam Hussein.
  • The last episode of series 3 saw the Archbishop of Canterbury fighting the Footballer's Wives.
  • During one episode in series 7, the fight consisted of seven people.
  • In episode 2 of Series 8, the fight is to decide who is the naughtiest vegetarian. It is between Heather Mills and Hitler. After announcing "See you after the break" Hill is heard to say "C'mon Hitler!"
  • During Series 8, one such fight was Smurfs vs. gorillas. In the following episode, during another joke about gorillas with an actor in costume, the Smurf returned to renew the fight and had to be taken away. This was again repeated during the 22 November 2008 episode, when the closing song was sung by an albino gorilla. Following this, the Smurf received cameo appearances in various episodes.
  • During Series 8, one fight involved two slow old men. They were so slow by the time the adverts had finished, they were still walking towards each other, and the fight had to be called off.
  • A series 8 episode saw a fight between "Mermaids" and "Boobies", after a participant on Snog Marry Avoid? expressed an appreciation for both. While a mermaid emerged from one door, the other door revealed two bobbies, prompting Hill to shout, "Stop - not bobbies, boobies!"
  • In the penultimate episode of series 8, the fight was between pasta and nothing, so only the pasta emerged from one side of the door, and when the other door opened to reveal nothing, the pasta walked off.
  • In the second episode of series 9, after showing a clip of two vicars fighting in Emmerdale, the fight was simply declared as "Vicar Fight!", followed by several people dressed in religious clothing, launching into a punch-up.
  • In one episode of series 9, a fight was announced between Ricky Butcher and Sam Mitchell but never actually occurred as the combatants could not open the doors to the studio (part of a joke about their alleged stupidity shown prior to the fight)
  • In another episode of series 9, the fight was between a tree and a bench. The tree fell on the bench and won.
  • In the first of the latter half of series saw a fight between "Light Green Soldier" and "Dark Green Soldier", after a character from Wild at Heart was using his toy soldiers in his room, as Harry narrated.
  • In the third final episode of series 9, for the first time in the show's history, Hill announced the fight segment - between two types of pastry - in Spanish.
  • Hill - played by a stunt double - has participated in a fight with James Bond in series 9; this was in response to an Emmerdale character complaining that a blind date of hers had resembled Hill when she was expecting a Bond look-alike.
  • A fight was called off after the wrong species of bird turned up.
  • There was supposed to be fight between a nervous person and a knackered person. However, when nobody showed up, Harry received a telephone call to say that the one person was nervous and the other was knackered to take part in the fight, so it did not happen.
  • In Episode 10.1, there was a fight between a paw and a claw.
  • In Episode 10.3, there was a fight between a scone from Devon with the cream on first and then the jam and a scone from Cornwall with the jam first then the cream.
  • In an advert for TV Burp on Cartoon Network, there is a fight between the two halves of the channel logo, the white C in a black square and the black N in the white square.

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